Many people choose to stay married for the kids. Both options impact kids differently. If you stay together, they might see their parents fight, talk behind each other’s back, or just behave like acquaintances. They might wish their parents would stop fighting and might go through trust issues when older and looking for love. On the other hand, children of divorced parents miss the presence of the other parent, have to miss out on their step-siblings’ birthdays, or spend holidays together in alternate years. While kids will go through an adjustment period, they will form healthy and happier relationships as adults and also maintain a good, loving relationship with each parent.
Is divorce inevitable for you?
If you are in an unhappy marriage, abusive marriage, or just fell out of love for each other, you might be considering divorce. However, with kids comes a number of responsibilities. As a parent, your biggest priority is offering them stability and minimizing their feelings of guilt.
Once you’ve asked for separation from your spouse, you will have to figure out a couple legalities right away – spousal support and decision-making responsibility and child support.
If you want to work on your marriage and find the connection with your spouse again, then divorce is not inevitable. You can choose individual and couple’s therapy as a way to diagnose the issue and find strategies to overcome them. If there’s no chance of reconciliation or your spouse is abusive and you need to get away, getting a divorce is a choice you make in your children’s best interests.
What are the drawbacks of staying together?
Disagreements can quickly turn into arguments that go on for days. Your kids will blame themselves for all the fighting. If there’s emotional distance, they’ll feel anxiety and low self-esteem. Growing up they will find normalcy in non-functional and toxic relationships and find themselves in them in adulthood.
Resolution asked 514 youths of separated parents if they would prefer their parents stayed together or separated. 82% confirmed that divorce was better than staying together as a family.
On the other hand, if you are living in a toxic relationship, don’t wait any longer to leave. Your kids might be young enough and starting to notice the abuse. Remember, the situation is not good for your kids either as your spouse can get abusive towards them if they come to protect you or stop the fights.
If you can’t leave the house, call your 911 or local shelter hotline where you can find stay options until the divorce is granted.
How to be better co-parents?
Co-parenting has peaks and valleys but as long as the focus remains on the kids, you’ll get through it. Here are some tips to help you out:
- Agree on a regular schedule for visits and exchanges, and stick to it. This helps the child with stability and security.
- Make decisions together about their education, health, and emotional needs. When disagreements arise, focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame.
- Consider using a shared digital calendar or a co-parenting app to keep track of important dates and information.
- When discussing parenting and kids, only talk about that. Set a time for the conversation, so both parents are prepared to talk.
- Life is unpredictable, so be willing to adjust plans for your kid’s happiness and well-being.
From drafting co-parenting agreements to offering legal advice tailored to your family situation, our family lawyers in Whitby are here for you. Contact Shuter Law today, and let’s build a positive future for your family. Click here to schedule your consultation.
